I think it's better to be a realist, if I'm gonna be completely honest.
Sometimes it feels like your own shit is too much. Or that you're dealing with it so constantly that it must be boring for others to hear about it. But I think others- or at least those who care about you, they wanna help. They doesn't see it as a bother.
But in the end, yeah. We're all responsible for our own bullshit.
Sometimes it feels like your own shit is too much. Or that you're dealing with it so constantly that it must be boring for others to hear about it. But I think others- or at least those who care about you, they wanna help. They doesn't see it as a bother.
But in the end, yeah. We're all responsible for our own bullshit.
Edited 2021-08-08 01:45 (UTC)
[Nobody expects Molly Hooper
Molly doesn't see any point in lying - she hates liars, honestly, and omitting would just be counter productive. She didn't expect Yelena to jump to SUCH hard-hitting questions right away . And maybe only now in hindsight is she realizing maybe they were just examples and maybe she did the textual equivalent of showing someone her bleeding heart, but...well Yelena's still talking to her, so that's good. Molly's used to getting half-hearted conversations that drop off into the abyss.
Molly is painfully scarce on female friends but she's rubbish with meeting new people/befriending people.]
Any particular kind of singer? What does freedom look like to you?
....really? You're not just saying that?
Molly doesn't see any point in lying - she hates liars, honestly, and omitting would just be counter productive. She didn't expect Yelena to jump to SUCH hard-hitting questions right away . And maybe only now in hindsight is she realizing maybe they were just examples and maybe she did the textual equivalent of showing someone her bleeding heart, but...well Yelena's still talking to her, so that's good. Molly's used to getting half-hearted conversations that drop off into the abyss.
Molly is painfully scarce on female friends but she's rubbish with meeting new people/befriending people.]
Any particular kind of singer? What does freedom look like to you?
....really? You're not just saying that?
Ok, but it’s going to sound really weird.
Basically, I was stuck in a magic sitcom reality and I punched a guy who was trying to force me into a circus act.
Basically, I was stuck in a magic sitcom reality and I punched a guy who was trying to force me into a circus act.
[ source ]
[ yelena takes a moment to consider that, she's not wrong. she nods her head in agreement. but it was at least fun and she basically got kicked out of a restaurant. it's funny. ] Good point. [ she says, draining her glass just as the bartender places another in front of her. yelena mumbles a quick 'thank you' in russian before she can catch herself. ]
[ the touch catches her off-guard and it stops her. it's gentle and kind, she's not used to gestures of comfort. she's never been afforded the luxury of it. she tenses for only a moment before relaxing and letting the ghost of a smile cross her face. ]
It-- [ 'doesn't feel like I'm allowed.' ] It doesn't feel like it. I know it's normal but sometimes it hurts so much I think... maybe I shouldn't. I, uh, [ she pauses, unsure if she wants to say it out loud or how it would sound. ] barely knew her.
Edited 2021-08-07 23:16 (UTC)
Doesn't mean it should hurt any less.
[wanda tilts her head to the side, trying to catch a hint of anything on yelena's face, but knows that such prolonged action can lead to a sentiment of pushing into someone else's privacy—especially when they're hurting—so she stops.
she pulls her hand away and grabs at the glass in front of her, bringing it close to her face for a sniff. it gives her enough confidence to drink from it, though her face pinches slightly at the taste.]
Perhaps it is even worse. Makes you think about the moments you could have had together. Or do you think you should belittle your pain?
[wanda tilts her head to the side, trying to catch a hint of anything on yelena's face, but knows that such prolonged action can lead to a sentiment of pushing into someone else's privacy—especially when they're hurting—so she stops.
she pulls her hand away and grabs at the glass in front of her, bringing it close to her face for a sniff. it gives her enough confidence to drink from it, though her face pinches slightly at the taste.]
Perhaps it is even worse. Makes you think about the moments you could have had together. Or do you think you should belittle your pain?
[ source ]
[ yelena raises an eyebrow, impressed that anywhere in america would stay open that long. she's been there long enough to know that the free market is brutal. ] I'm surprised anything could stay open that long. [ she mumbles more to herself than bucky. she looks at him with a devious little smile though: ] It was so fucking long ago. [ she adds, knowing damn well that she's calling him old in the process. ]
Spicy mustard? [ she asks, looking down at the newly presented hotdogs. yelena tries not to make a face and fails. they don't look entirely disgusting but the sauerkraut is the most unappetizing thing she's seen in awhile. they still smell good and she's reluctant to let him know otherwise and keeps her expression a static unimpressed disgusted. ]
This is a very weird combination, I hope you know. [ she says as she reaches for a hotdog, still skeptical but thrown by the delicious smell. any hesitance she has is mostly rooted in not wanting to be wrong about sauerkraut. ]
( he's surprised too, really, but he can't find it in him to complain. the smell was practically the same as it used to be, some other new desserts in the mix, but ultimately, it felt like home. walking out the front door had been like slamming back down to earth, mentally.
her defiance brings an amused smile to his lips and he shrugs as she tries to act like she isn't hungry enough to try it anyway now. god, she's precious. )
Yeah, I know, but, if you think about it, the recipe is just as old as those bakeries, so. ( he shrugs. ) Might be weird, but must be delicious to stick around so long.
her defiance brings an amused smile to his lips and he shrugs as she tries to act like she isn't hungry enough to try it anyway now. god, she's precious. )
Yeah, I know, but, if you think about it, the recipe is just as old as those bakeries, so. ( he shrugs. ) Might be weird, but must be delicious to stick around so long.
no worries! i get it, life just be happening to us at all times
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vesting
- 2021-08-19 07:38 (UTC) - ExpandBut you're interested in my death? Or my naps?
I'll send you my address then. Consider it a formal invitation for a painting viewing.
[ Does she know how to drop pins? Of course not. It's just a good old-fashioned text of her apartment address. ]
I'll send you my address then. Consider it a formal invitation for a painting viewing.
[ Does she know how to drop pins? Of course not. It's just a good old-fashioned text of her apartment address. ]
and so sorry for the slow, life with a newborn is chaotic 😅
dysmorphics
- 2025-03-02 16:44 (UTC) - ExpandTimezones can be a wild thing, ok.
But yes, I am alive, and I am about to drink a pot of coffee and find something to eat. My fridge is empty.
Are you alive, at least mostly?
But yes, I am alive, and I am about to drink a pot of coffee and find something to eat. My fridge is empty.
Are you alive, at least mostly?
Too late. You already said it.
I have it in writing.
I have it in writing.
[ from here ]
If you weren't a coward it would have been a good strategy
[ she thinks she's very funny. it's a shame he's not nearby to hear the laughter both images illicit, however yelena always plays it close to the chest. so she might have simply fought a smile. ]
Hmmm
Definitely the second one, you want him to know you're a professional
If you weren't a coward it would have been a good strategy
[ she thinks she's very funny. it's a shame he's not nearby to hear the laughter both images illicit, however yelena always plays it close to the chest. so she might have simply fought a smile. ]
Hmmm
Definitely the second one, you want him to know you're a professional
Okay, I gotta go and kick an ass. KICK an ass. Not the weird things you do them.
[ Yamada also thinks he's funny. And will not confess how badly he wants to hear a big belly laugh form Yelena.
He signs off his text with another selfie of the pro-mole, though he's added a high-viz jacket and a toolbelt. He's doing a peace sign with two claws the length of his head.
After about thirty minutes he comes back! With an image looking down into a deep hole- a guy looking up with a scowl, waving his fist. He's a short fella with streaks of rubber lining his skin like a bumper car. ]
I'm gonna start dropping stuff in there lol
[ Yamada also thinks he's funny. And will not confess how badly he wants to hear a big belly laugh form Yelena.
He signs off his text with another selfie of the pro-mole, though he's added a high-viz jacket and a toolbelt. He's doing a peace sign with two claws the length of his head.
After about thirty minutes he comes back! With an image looking down into a deep hole- a guy looking up with a scowl, waving his fist. He's a short fella with streaks of rubber lining his skin like a bumper car. ]
I'm gonna start dropping stuff in there lol
ahaha thank you! i'm trying to get better about Using Icons
pagekaren
- 2025-04-19 15:25 (UTC) - Expandthey're so pretty! it gets easier the more you use em hehe
vesting
- 2025-04-24 09:12 (UTC) - Expandtruly inkonic is an icon miracle worker! and that's what i'm hoping haha
pagekaren
- 2025-04-24 23:25 (UTC) - Expand[ from here ]
Thanks
[ yelena slips her phone back into her pocket and turns to the two flamethrowers she managed to scrounge up. she's got one working but the second one is proving to be a little tricky. the starter doesn't seem to want to click and she's already turned the room she found it in upside down trying to find another one.
the hydra outpost she found looked like it had been abandoned for years. the building itself looked like any other lost military outpost, nature had more or less started to reclaim it. the walls that weren't covered in vines were spray painted to hell. yelena wasn't a drunk teenager with a paint can though, she knew somewhere in this hell hole there would be an opening to a deeper secret.
she found the entrance underneath old tile in what looked like an infirmary. the whole thing lifted up to reveal steps that ended in a metal door. the hinges were nearly rusted shut and she struggled for a good 15 minutes, worried she'd have to tell bucky sooner than she wanted to. eventually it screeched open and yelena spent over two hours going through every single inch. it was clear though. everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.
she found the flamethrowers with a bunch of other weaponry and figured both her and bucky deserved a treat. if he wanted to go through himself, he could but this particular outpost didn't seem to be all that important. at least, not compared to the things she knew hydra was capable of.
yelena sighed heavily, frustrated at herself. she should be able to make this damn flamethrower work. after a moment she shoved the thing away and pulled her phone out. ]
Entrance is in the Infirmary, back left of the building.
[ she wasn't sure how long it would take bucky to arrive and she wasn't making any progress on the weapon. so, it was time to continue exploring. the sweep she'd done initially wasn't exhaustive and now the thing had an expiration date. ]
Thanks
[ yelena slips her phone back into her pocket and turns to the two flamethrowers she managed to scrounge up. she's got one working but the second one is proving to be a little tricky. the starter doesn't seem to want to click and she's already turned the room she found it in upside down trying to find another one.
the hydra outpost she found looked like it had been abandoned for years. the building itself looked like any other lost military outpost, nature had more or less started to reclaim it. the walls that weren't covered in vines were spray painted to hell. yelena wasn't a drunk teenager with a paint can though, she knew somewhere in this hell hole there would be an opening to a deeper secret.
she found the entrance underneath old tile in what looked like an infirmary. the whole thing lifted up to reveal steps that ended in a metal door. the hinges were nearly rusted shut and she struggled for a good 15 minutes, worried she'd have to tell bucky sooner than she wanted to. eventually it screeched open and yelena spent over two hours going through every single inch. it was clear though. everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.
she found the flamethrowers with a bunch of other weaponry and figured both her and bucky deserved a treat. if he wanted to go through himself, he could but this particular outpost didn't seem to be all that important. at least, not compared to the things she knew hydra was capable of.
yelena sighed heavily, frustrated at herself. she should be able to make this damn flamethrower work. after a moment she shoved the thing away and pulled her phone out. ]
Entrance is in the Infirmary, back left of the building.
[ she wasn't sure how long it would take bucky to arrive and she wasn't making any progress on the weapon. so, it was time to continue exploring. the sweep she'd done initially wasn't exhaustive and now the thing had an expiration date. ]
No take backs! You gotta live with the consequences of your Kate-Bishop-related flirtations.
Speaking of, damn right I am. Whatcha gonna do about it?
Speaking of, damn right I am. Whatcha gonna do about it?
[ this is the closest to normal that yelena has gotten since she was a child. she has a cute little yellow beach bag with a sun hat and sarong covering a yellow and white polka dot bikini. there's an umbrella and towels all laid out for the both of them, with drinks quickly warming in the sun. it's picturesque. basically, if she's seen it in a movie they have it.
this is all in effort of trying on normal for size. it all seems very boring to her but quaint in a way that makes her want to try it. it helps that she has someone else to focus on. bucky's impossible to pin down, he makes way too many excuses and she's had to find an entirely private beach for just the two of them. but it's nice, actually. she thinks families and animals might overwhelm them both. they have the whole beach to themselves. it's all glaring sunshine and warm ocean breezes.
yelena settles into her spot, pointedly looking at bucky to join her. chop, chop! once she's satisfied, yelena closes her eyes and lays out in the sun, relaxing into the sand. it's hot but in a pleasant way and she knows that running into the water later is going to feel amazing. however, she can practically feel the tension coming off bucky. he keeps shifting and moving and muttering under his breath, until she's had enough and squints over at him. ]
Can you chill out?
this is all in effort of trying on normal for size. it all seems very boring to her but quaint in a way that makes her want to try it. it helps that she has someone else to focus on. bucky's impossible to pin down, he makes way too many excuses and she's had to find an entirely private beach for just the two of them. but it's nice, actually. she thinks families and animals might overwhelm them both. they have the whole beach to themselves. it's all glaring sunshine and warm ocean breezes.
yelena settles into her spot, pointedly looking at bucky to join her. chop, chop! once she's satisfied, yelena closes her eyes and lays out in the sun, relaxing into the sand. it's hot but in a pleasant way and she knows that running into the water later is going to feel amazing. however, she can practically feel the tension coming off bucky. he keeps shifting and moving and muttering under his breath, until she's had enough and squints over at him. ]
Can you chill out?
( it could be part of the training. he doesn't really know. what he does know is, despite wanting to relax, he's struggled with it for over a decade now, and despite yelena's efforts and whatever hopes he tries not to put too much weight into, the inaction feels like a special form of suffocation. the fact he was forced along means he had to prepare himself for failure—also making an utter fool of himself—but it's too late to reclaim whatever dignity he should keep, because he's always made excuses for a reason, and lena should already know better. this isn't his fault.
flopping uncomfortably again, he huffs, muttering defiantly, )
I'm trying.
( the comfort just feels overwhelming, and the soldier doesn't know how to process the sensation passively. )
flopping uncomfortably again, he huffs, muttering defiantly, )
I'm trying.
( the comfort just feels overwhelming, and the soldier doesn't know how to process the sensation passively. )
I know.
Mne zhal', sestra
I don’t know if this helps or not at all, but I’m scared, too.
There was always supposed to be more time…
Mne zhal', sestra
I don’t know if this helps or not at all, but I’m scared, too.
There was always supposed to be more time…
( wowowowowow. how dare you bring his nerdiness into this. )
( he's probably joking. probably. )
I'm more worried about him loving itthe punches I can take
the bear hugs?if he goes that route, please shoot me before he gets the chance
I beg you( he's probably joking. probably. )
anyway we gonna play 20 questions or what?
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